As I stepped back into the club from the hidden entrance behind the alley, I tried to refocus on why I was actually here. Whether or not I truly believed in all those things I said about fate, I couldn’t shake my thoughts from that girl, Vesper, and the chances of meeting someone to once again, remind me of the reason I decide to continue my existence. There wasn’t much time to think about her now unfortunately as Damian met me at the back entrance of the club. “Here.” Damian handed me my dagger belt, which I fastened around my waist. “My sword?” I asked with a hint of annoyance in my voice. He held onto the sword and stared at it as if he didn’t hear me. “She never wanted any of this for you, you know?” he caught me off guard with those words. Damian is a very dear friend of mine. He was a friend and companion to Emilia since before I met her and long before I became Kindred. After she died, he stuck by me and helped guide me through what happened then. “I know. Carrying her sword reminds me of that.” I replied to him. He handed me the sword with the beautifully etched E emblazoned on the sheath and I fastened it around my shoulder. Damian put his hand on my shoulder to stop me before I could take a step away. “That girl does look just like her. I heard what you said to her. She’s not Emilia, Sebastian. Don’t make the same mistake she did.” He pleads to me with sincerity in his voice. I felt a little angry with him but I quickly let it go because he was right. “Let’s just get this over with before sunrise, please.” I said without meeting his eyes. He nodded back to me, “Let’s”.
We made our way to main floor of the club. There were still as many people here as in the beginning of the night although the ratio seems to have shifted to more human than Kindred as the morning approaches. Weaving through the crowd, we reached the stairs to the balcony which I had previously ordered be sealed off. Damian and I headed up and as we reached the roped off hallway leading to the Red Room the bouncer at the ropes stopped me. “I was hoping you don’t make too much of a mess in there, Sebastian. I have to clean that shit up later.” I bared my fangs, as I was slightly annoyed. “Alright, alright man. Take it easy.” He said as he left and walked towards the stairs. “You need me in there?” Damian asked as we stopped just short of the Red Room. I smiled to him, “No. I’m more than happy to take care of this one myself, even if it is at the command of the fool Prince.” I was here under orders to kill a Malkavian named Bram that had repeatedly violated the Masquerade by feeding on and killing humans in view of others. “I’ll be right outside keeping watch if you need me.” He said as we gave each other a nudge.
I could hear the bastard in there laughing over something. There were two other kindred with him that I assumed were friends of his. They were young, which meant they would be quite easily dispatched if need be. I felt an unordinary feeling of anger well up inside me as I thought of the people he’s killed. Without being able to stand his laughter for one more second, I open the door and walk in. The laughter halted with quickness and Bram stared me directly in the eye with no hint of the fear that I’ve come to expect. “Well if it isn’t the Scourge himself.” He said to my slyly. Before replying to him, I look to the corner of the room where the bodies of five young human women were stacked up, almost like trash waiting to be discarded. I clenched my fist as I held myself back from killing all three of them straight away. I at least wanted to hear an explanation. “Sebastian? Say something, to what do I owe this visit.” I sunk my fangs into my bottom lip, causing blood to drip down chin as my fury grew at his act of ignorance. “You know exactly what you owe. Your life.” I replied to him. He laughed as if to ignore the obvious threat. “You know Sebastian, I never understood why Van Leuwen let you live. Toreadors make horrible killers.” He said as his two friends chuckled. “Maybe if your Sire wasn’t so much of a fool, she…” Before he could finish his sentence, I grabbed one of the daggers from my belt and threw it with such speed and precision, that his companion on the left only barely saw my movement before bursting into a cloud of ash. “My apologies, Bram, please continue.” I said with an unwavering stare. Without time for him to respond, his companion to the right jumped up from the seat and darted towards the door in attempt to escape. Deciding that I wasn’t feeling merciful tonight, I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, my eyes never leaving Bram’s. “It’s actually true that Toreadors make horrible killers. I would much rather be witness to creation than destruction. Often times, things happen in this existence that can make us into something we’re not.” I said to him as I threw the young Kindred to the ground and no sooner grabbing another dagger and plunging it into his neck in a motion to decapitate him. I pulled my sword from my sheath and gripped it tightly in anger and began to walk toward him. An odd smile grew on his face.
“Have you ever wondered what it was like to taste the madness of the Malkavian, Sebastian?” he said, as I suddenly felt frozen. His eyes looking focused on mine in a menacing stare. I started to feel dizzy and disoriented almost to the point of falling down. I shut my eyes tight in effort to refocus. I knew this was the Dementation ability of Bram but in my anger, I left myself unprepared. As I opened my eyes, I was no longer in the Red Room but on the Prince’s stage of trials, a place all too familiar to me. “C’mon, snap out of it.” I said to myself. “Sebastian?” a familiar soft voice called out. I stood petrified. I knew whose voice that belonged to and it couldn’t be possible. “Sebastian.” The voice called out again. I slowly turned around to see Emilia, as radiant as I remember her, walking towards me. I stood frozen, tears of blood starting to well up in my eyes. “My sweet Sebastian.” She muttered as she reached out and brushed her fingers against my cheek. “You can’t be real.” I was barely able to speak as I tried to keep grip of reality. “Why can’t I be real? Do you not want me to be real? Has that human already taken my place?” she said to me with a pleading voice. “No of course not. Why would you think that?” I replied to her with the tears starting to stream down my face. Emilia started to stumble, almost as if she couldn’t keep her balance. She fell forward and I caught her in my arms. “I loved you Sebastian. Why did you let me die?” she said as tears of blood started to escape her eyes as well. “Emilia, you were everything to me. You saved me. I can barely go on without you.” I said with a distraught voice. Emilia started bleeding from her ears, nose and then from her neck as a wound opened as if sliced by a blade. “I wish you would have saved me, my love. We could have been so happy.” I held her tighter. “I couldn’t, I’m so sorry.” I whispered to her. “No, you couldn’t. You’re weak Sebastian. You were weak when I found you and I died because of your weakness.” I shook as I felt horror of her words sent shivers throughout my body. “I never should have sired you. Who knew the object of my desire would be the end of me.” I flinched at the thought of her rejection of me. “This can’t be you. You’ve never said such things to me.” I muttered to her. “The truth is, I do love you. I just wish loving you didn’t cost me my life.” She said before turning to ash in my arms. “Emilia please! You can’t leave me again! Not again…” I said as I gripped her ashes, almost in an effort to put her back together. I collapsed next to her ashes in perpetual sadness and hopelessness, wishing to join her now more than ever. I closed my eyes as I contemplated ending myself. I envisioned Emilia, our time together and our time apart. As those thoughts moved through my head, I then began to think of other events; The Prince, Azael, and the torture that they put me through, the innocents they’ve made me kill over their entertainment. My despair started becoming anger. I thought about the girl from Amon, Vesper, and how she looked just like my lost Sire. Was she a gift from Emilia? A reminder to love and protect like she had done for me? I then focused on sooner events, the task I was commanded to complete this very night, A Malkavian killing needlessly.
I started to remember where I was and where I was supposed to be. I felt angrier and angrier until it reached a boiling point. “Bram…” I muttered to myself. I screamed loudly with fury and opened my eyes. No longer was on the stage of trials, but back in the Red Room with Bram standing over me. “Enjoy your trip, Sebastian?” He said with arrogance as he broke out in laughter. “You fool. You should’ve killed me.” I said through a clenched jaw still staring at the ground where Emilia lay just moments ago. “Kill you? What kind of entertainment would that bring? I much rather see you squirm!” he said with a cackle between each word. I grabbed my sword lying directly beside me and sprang up. “Up and around are we?” he taunted with a wide smirk. Without as much as a word, I picked him up almost as if he was weightless and threw him against the wall, driving my blade through his shoulder. Without a break in his mad cackle, he muttered: “Don’t think you can cause me pain, Toreador. I’m enjoying this much more than you.” I realized he was correct, so without wasting more of my time I pull my sword from his shoulder and removed his head with one simple swing. I breathed a sigh of relief; at least I could feel the anger leave me piece by piece. “Sebastian!” Damian yelled to me from the other side of the doors. I looked over to him, as he sounded startled. “Azael is here!” he called out to me. Suddenly, I felt the anger return to me even quicker than it left.
I waited in the room, as I knew Azael was here to see me. It didn’t take long after Damian’s warning before he walked into the room. “I gotta say Sebastian, I’m impressed! There’s a beast inside you after all.” He said to me with a laugh. “You need something?” I said to him with the same annoyance I always show when talking to him. “Well, I just came by to collect Bram’s blood sample for the Prince as proof that I didn’t have to clean up after you for once.” He said to me with his trademark smirk. “Here.” I said to him as I raised my sword directly to his chest, the point only inches away from his heart. The blade was still dripping with Bram’s blood. Azael looked to the blade and back to me, and he let out a chuckle. “This will do!” he said as he let a few drops drip into a vial. “You should head home, killer. It’s almost sunrise.” He told me as if I would believe he was honestly concerned. I began to walk out as I was very hungry myself and needed to feed before daylight. “I still owe you for the beach you know!” he called to me as I left the room. “You know where to find me.” I called back, already out of sight. I gave Damian a parting pat on the shoulder as I left Amon and headed back to the comfort of my apartment. I didn’t have the stomach to feed on a human tonight. I luckily keep an overstock of blood packs at my apartment for such an occasion.
I arrived back at my apartment not long before sunrise. I grabbed a blood pack from my hidden safe behind my bookcase. Mentally exhausted, I fiddled with the opening to the pack in hopes of pouring it into a glass but soon gave up and just sunk my fangs into the plastic. Finishing quickly, I breathed a sigh of relief as the hunger I’ve been putting off was finally quenched. With the sun beginning to rise, I walked over and closed the metal sun shields equipped to my windows. I returned my weapons to the safe behind the bookcase and plopped down onto my bed and closed my eyes. As I began my usual process of running the events of the night through my head, I hesitated, knowing that remembering tonight meant seeing Emilia again. Whether or not I think of myself as a masochist, it was actually nice to see her again even if she was just a twisted visage from the mind of a Malkavian. My thoughts began to slowly quiet and my body began to stiffen as I fall into slumber. With my eyes closed, I drifted away with my final thoughts being of the moonlit yellow eyes of my sire, eyes that I would inherit from her. Moving past the difficulties that occurred tonight, I couldn’t forget that I had actually saw Emilia twice tonight. Vesper, such a darling and sweet girl, actually reminded me much of myself, even if she resembled Emilia. Before falling into unconsciousness, I seen images of her and I as if I were back in the times before I became Kindred.
“I’m just worried about you. You never tell me what these things are that you always have to attend to.” I said to Emilia. She reached over and brushed my cheek. “There is no cause for worry, Sebastian.” I looked at her with an increasing sense of concern. I always felt like I knew her, but there were things that she left unsaid. “Emilia, I never brought myself to question you because it’s not my place but I need to know. You leave during the day only to return late at night. The other night you came home with torn clothing and what looked like an injury of some sort.” Emilia grabbed my arm and pulled me close to her. “First of all, your place is with me. Never forget that. I’ve been able to sense your doubt and concern. I believe I owe you answers. Before I do that, I have to see someone about a favor. I’ll return shortly and safely, okay?” she kissed me longingly before grabbing her coat and leaving through door. I stood there, stunned, as I wasn’t able to gather my thoughts quickly enough for a reply. I had a bad feeling, almost physical that something terrible was going to happen but I chalked it up to ordinary anxiety. What is it about her that I didn’t know yet? As I thought on it more deeply, I realized that the things I don’t know about Emilia outweigh the things I do. I walked around the foyer of the house, stopping and standing beneath each one of her collected paintings. I looked at them hoping that they would give me some insight on who she really was. How did she come about being here? What about friends and family? It’s only been her and I here in this house for months. I longed to learn about the woman who saved my life. As mysterious as she might be, I loved her deeply for what she has been to me so far.
Hours had passed and my worry continued to grow. How could she be so confident? She was a woman alone on the streets at night and I knew all too well of the dangers in the streets of Amsterdam after dark. I couldn’t just sit here any longer; I had to go find her. As soon as I reached for my coat to head out, Emilia walked quietly and calmly through the door but oddly as she turned around to close it, she stayed there as if frozen in thought. “Is everything okay? I was about to come look for you, I was terrified.” I said to her as the worry made my words slightly unintelligible. She turned around and looked at me with a smile. “Sebastian, please come sit with me.” She grabbed my hand and led me over to the couch in her library. She looked me in the eyes, never leaving my gaze, “My love, before I give you the answers you’ve been seeking, I need one from you.” I looked at her confused at her words. “Of course but you’re scaring me. Is something wrong with you?” I said as I heard the fear in my own voice. “Sweet boy, tell me, do you want to stay by each others side? Forever?” she said as she wrapped strands of my hair around her fingers. She sounded different tonight than any other night and I could feel the emotions as if they we’re my own. “Yes of course. I’ve never felt as safe as I do with you.” I replied to her. She smiled in joy and grabbed my hand. “I’m glad, my love. That’s all I needed to hear. Now, please don’t be frightened.” She said to me quickly and before I could react to her, she smiled widely showing me her teeth. Her canines grew into long, sharp fangs right before my eyes. “Emilia… what are?” I said before she placed her finger on my lips in attempt to quiet me. “Just listen, my dear. I’m quite sure you’re familiar with the human mythology on what I am so I’ll spare you the details. I am vampire, Sebastian. Does this frighten you?” Although feeling stunned physically, as if my only my body could feel the shock of her revelation, I felt calm and relieved that I finally knew what she had been hiding. Normally something unbelievable, it’s unsurprisingly difficult to disbelieve what I’ve seen with my own eyes. “I couldn’t be frightened of you. No matter what you are. You taught me to not be afraid.” I replied to her. She smiled and gasped with an expression of relief as she reached to pull me close. “You fill my heart with light, my love.” She whispered in my ear. Emilia inched away and scanned me up and down in inspection. “Now that you know, I have to ask again. Do you wish to stay by my side, forever? Now that you know forever is reality?” She said with longing eyes. I looked away from her and at my own hands. I turned them over and fixated on my palms. I wonder what I would be if Emilia never found me. Would I even be alive? “Forever, Emilia. There’s no place I’d rather be than with you.” I told her as I reached over and brushed the hair from her eyes. “You’ve made me very happy, Sebastian. Will you accept my Embrace? Will you be mine forever?” she said melodically with closed eyes. I knew what she was asking and without need for thought, made a decision. I didn’t know what the decision would entail but I did know that I couldn’t decline eternity with her. “I will accept. You should have known I would all along.” I said hoping to calm her doubt. Emilia smiled, showing her fangs, as she leaned forward, sniffing the air. “Relax, dear Sebastian. This won’t be painful. Just close your eyes. When you awaken, we can begin our eternity.” She said as she guided my head to rest on her shoulder. I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around her. Without hesitation, she quickly placed her lips on my neck as if finally experiencing a moment that she had been anxiously awaiting. I felt the sharp points of her fangs glide over my neck as she searched for a suitable spot. Finding the point she was looking for, she slowly guided her fangs through my flesh. I expected to feel pain but as she promised, there was none. It sent shivers almost like electricity throughout my entire body. I felt my head becoming more comfortably rested on her shoulder as the blood continued leaving the puncture wounds. Emilia gripped me tightly as she gently drank, occasionally moving away, letting out sighs as if to catch her breath. I felt myself become tired while the waves of electricity became more intense, filling my nerves with a shocking sensation. Enraptured by the sensation, I placed my hand behind her head to pull her more tightly to my neck. I felt myself beginning to slip into unconsciousness as she lowered me onto the couch. I was able to force my eyes open long enough to catch a glimpse of her biting into her wrist. With blood dripping from the wound, she held it over my mouth, letting drops trickle down my throat. Before losing consciousness, I looked up one final time to see her smiling with squinted eyes, reminding me that she knew what it meant to me.
Hearing a loud crash, I jolted awake. In my confusion, I scanned the room to familiarize myself with where I was. I let out a sigh of relief after I realized I was in my apartment and seen that the sound came from my cat shoving last night’s wine glass from the kitchen counter. I laughed to myself, as I was surprised that I didn’t wake up in Emilia’s house with her carefully watching over me. Before getting up, I reached to my nightstand to grab my phone. The time read 21:40 indicating night had fallen but I noticed even more importantly, I had no missed contact from the Prince. Usually he only contacts if I’ve upset him or if he has another fool’s errand for me to run. Excited at the thought of a much-needed night off, I contemplated how I might spend my time. It didn’t take long for my thoughts to fall on Vesper. I was ready to see her again and for the first time in many years, I felt excitement rush over me. I headed to the bathroom and jumped in the shower, washing away hints of blood and ash from the night before. Wasting as little time as possible, I dressed quickly and headed towards the door. There was a park that I liked to visit that was only a quick walk from my apartment. “What a wonderful place for fate to bring us together again.” I said to myself with a sly smirk. I headed towards the door in a rush to make my way there but not before stopping to scratch my cat behind the ears. He responded in his usual manner by swiping at me with a loud hiss. “You better come up with a reason for me to keep you around by the time I return.” I said to him in annoyance. I dislike that damn cat.
Walking slowly for a change, I let my mind wander about Vesper. I thought of her beauty and soft voice. A feeling of delight washed over me as I remembered hearing how she said my name. It was comforting for a change. Usually whenever I hear my name, it’s followed by a command or threats and ridicule. I arrived at the park still entranced by thought of her and noticed that luckily, the park was empty. The moonlight was striking the pond in just the way I had hoped for the occasion. Tonight, I decided that fate wouldn’t act quickly enough for me and I would take it into my hands. I headed away from the pond to a tree that was perfectly concealed in shadow. One of my favorite things about being Toreador was our granted power over the will and emotions of others. Closing my eyes, I tapped into my power of Presence and filled my mind with thoughts of Vesper. I visualized her hearing my voice as I called her name. It shouldn’t take long for her to arrive, as the Summon is a powerful feeling that will guide her, unknowingly, right to me. Staying still with my eyes still closed, I sent my silent gratitude to Emilia. If Vesper is indeed a gift from her, it’s a reassuring thought that she still means to protect my happiness even in death.
Enjoying the night air, I almost don’t notice the figure of a young woman walking up to the pond and looking around with a hint of confusion. She was wearing a beautifully colored dress and her hair was in a lovely braid draped over her shoulder. She stopped at the edge of the water and sat down, still looking around in confusion, as she was most likely wondering why she came here. I smiled, slightly losing myself as waves of feelings washed over me at the sight of her. Without being able to keep my patience, I walked towards her quietly, stopping just a few feet away. “A beautiful moon tonight.” I called out quietly to her. She whipped around, her eyes meeting mine as she smiled in delight and surprise. Vesper quickly rose to her feet and ran to me, jumping into my arms and grasping me tightly. “Sebastian! I… can’t believe you’re here.” She said as I wrapped her in my arms and held her close to me. “I’m so happy to see you again, Vesper. I trusted that fate would bring us together again.” I whispered in her ear. “I was worried, you know. I would have much preferred if you just took my phone number.” She pouted as I let out an unexpected laugh. “Where’s the romance in a phone call?” I replied playfully. I looked back up to the moon and reached for her hand. “Will you sit with me under the moonlight? We didn’t have much time to talk last night. I asked her as our eyes remained locked to each to each other’s. “I would like that, Sebastian.” She said as she walked with me, placing her hand in mine and leading the way back to the pond. “How did you find me here? Actually, why am I here? I was at home, chronicling my thoughts in my vlog as usual and the next thing I knew, I was walking to this park.” She said in a quick ramble. “Your vlog? What is a vlog?” I asked in confusion. I’m not sure if I’ve ever heard of such a thing. Vesper looked over to me with an odd gaze of suspicion. “How do you not know what a vlog is? Don’t you have the internet?” she asked with a strange tone of voice. “Well yes. Is it like the pages that people write and post pictures to?” I asked with genuine curiosity. “Kind of! It’s just that but in recorded video form.” She exclaimed excitedly. “Interesting. You will have to show me your video chronicles some time, my dear.” I replied. “I’ve been waiting ever since we first met for the chance to see you again. Which now I realize was only last night.” She said as her cheeks flushed with color, causing an adoring laugh to escape from me. “My dear Evening Star, if you only knew I’ve been waiting for this for over a century.” I thought silently to myself as we stood under the moonlight. If she only knew…